Wednesday, May 29, 2013

A Shade of Vampire by Bella Forrest

Summary on GoodReads.

$3.99 on Kindle

First, this book is self-published; from the cover, I wouldn’t have thought so. Great work! However, Bella Forrest is listed as an author who bought fake reviews for this book.

Sorry Brandee, you recommended the book but… *coughing* well, you know I’m evil.

#1.- The first warning that the story was going to be lame was that Sofia said at the beginning that she wasn’t really pretty. She is in love with her best friend, Ben; but Ben goes for ‘beautiful’ girls which Sofia (according to her) is not.

I totally hate when authors make characters like this: “oh, I’m not pretty;” but then every single vampire is drooling over her.

#2.- Without much ado, Sofia is kidnapped. Fine, we don’t need to know what her friends and family think of her disappearance because the story is really about Sofia and vampires.

#3.- Why was Sofia taken? Aha, you guessed that right, because she is freaking BEAUTIFUL. Didn’t she say she wasn’t?

#4.- Is Sofia freaking out that she’s been taken? No… she is intrigued that her captor can be so physically perfect. Okay, I guess that if I am kidnapped by Channing Tatum freaking out would be out of the question because I would be literally drooling all over the place.

#5.- When Derek sees Sofia he is instantly drawn to her beauty. Seriously? Is this Sofia the product of a milkshake of Hollywood’s starlets?

So… Derek dismisses all the other girls that were taken for him and keeps Sofia. Three clicks later, they are in the kitchen and Derek can't take his eyes off of Sofia “in a light yellow dress clinging to her curves at just the right places” (45% Kindle).

#6.- Beauty. Beauty seems to be the main theme of the story. Everybody is beautiful but Sofia is THE most beautiful one. So beautiful that all male vampires crave her and the females envy her.

#7.- Oh! But Sofia is not only BEAUTIFUL, she is also fragile and virginal. Does Sofia sleep with Derek? Of course not! That would deviate from the Twilight outline. “No… I’m not that kind of girl” said beautiful, chaste, innocent Sofia. Can you explain to me what kind of girls are those?

Excuse me! Going back to my own personal fantasy: if Channing Tatum kidnapped me, I would definitely sleep with him… because I am that kind of girl. I kid you not.

So, Derek is totally in love with Sofia just because she is beautiful. Rolling my eyes and moving forward.

#8.- Although Derek and Sofia haven’t exchanged any bodily fluids, by 61% Derek had already taken Sofia’s breath away (Hello! Bella calling Edward!). So much for loving Ben in the first three pages of the book.

#9.- Derek, our prince in charge of a kingdom is totally insipid. Gorgeous? 100% yes!

#10.- Derek hates being a vampire; he doesn’t want to hurt people; he really has feelings; he didn’t ask for any of this… arggg… I already read, Twilight, thank you very much.

#11.- When Derek and Sofia get married (because, since the story seems to follow Twilight, that is what’s coming next…; also, since Sofia is not “that kind of girl” she will require a wedding before mating the prince) they will have beautiful insipid babies that the entire kingdom will die to protect!

What the heck is it with all these beautiful people? Couldn’t a normal 6 foot – 250 lbs girl shake Derek too?

Do guys, vampires, or werewolves only fight for perfectly beautiful, skinny girls? When will vampires go for an average girl?

Hello! A pimple here and there won’t hurt!!!!

Why is it that the girl who thinks that she is not pretty turns out to be THE most beautiful one?

And this vampire world with knights and all that crap… I already see an illustrated guide to explain all the vamp’s ranks and Sofia’s journal coming out. Yes, just like Twilight.

Updated 10/6/2013
But besides all that, I am WAS really glad that this independent author has had such a huge success with such a simple story. After finding out that Forrest bought fake reviews for this title, I wonder if the success is even real.