Friday, December 7, 2012

Thank God It's Friday!

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it, English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant, No ham in the hamburger, and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England, and French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted but if we examine its paradoxes we find that quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth? 
If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down and in which you fill in a form by filling it out and a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course isn't a race at all).

That is why when the stars are out they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible. And why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts but when I wind up this observation, it ends?


  1. HAPPY FRIDAY TO You! I LOOKED around the web and finally found the strange English language we laughed at while teaching in Sweden in the 1980s
    And the Poem

    The English Lesson
    We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
    But the plural of ox should be oxen not oxes.
    One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
    Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

    You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
    But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
    If the plural of man is always called men,
    Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

    If I spoke of my foot and showed you my feet,
    When I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
    If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
    Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

    If the singular is this, and the plural is these,
    Why shouldn't the plural of kiss be kese?
    Then one may be that, and three would be those,
    Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.

    We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
    But though we say mother, we never say methren.
    So plurals in English, I think you'll agree,
    Are indeed very tricky--singularly.
    M.C.V. Egan

    1. This is hilarious! Love it.-